


Impossible Highways

by 2shytheshippy



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8034268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2shytheshippy/pseuds/2shytheshippy
Summary: "For what you see is not fantasy; it's not what it gets, but gives. This is the Age of Adz. Eternal living."-Sufjan Stevens, "Age of Adz"Growing up is hard to do...Previously titled: Universe & U





	1. Age of Adz

“ _Oh, oh, it rots Oh, oh, it rots Oh, oh, it rots_.”

-

“You were right, I _am_  an idiot,” Greg admitted.

Marco raised an eyebrow as he looked at his son. “You freaked out, didn’t you?”

Audibly, Greg sighed, and then nodded. “Yeah, and I—I screwed up big time. I probably pushed her right into Josh’s arms.”

“Give it a break about Josh, okay,” Marco admonished. “I mean, what are you really afraid of, Greg, huh?” Incredulously, he stared at his son. “I don’t get it: you like Rebecca, Rebecca likes you; you two fuck like rabbits. And when you care about someone, you put yourself out there, as simple as that. Not this uncaring, bad boy crap.”

Lazily, Greg ran a hand through his hair. “I said she was cool,” he mumbled. 

In confusion, Marco scrunched up his face. “Huh?”

“Rebecca told me that she cared about me a _lot_ and I told her that she was cool.” Ashamed, Greg rested his head in his hands.

Marco rubbed his face. “God, you really _do_  have issues, kid.”

At this, Greg pursed his lips. “Told ya.”

“I don’t give a damn.” He waved off Greg’s comment. “Greg, you’re responsible for your own happiness. Either you allow Rebecca the power to hurt you and trust that she doesn’t or call it quits. But, you can’t half-ass a relationship for better or for worse—it doesn’t work that way.”

As Greg considered his father’s words, he bit his lip. “Do you think I still have a chance with her? I probably don’t, but maybe…”

“I don’t know.” Marco shrugged. “But, I do know you won’t know until you talk to her.” Greg nodded as he consider his father's words. “Like _now_.”

Greg shot out of his seat. “Oh…oh yeah, right, right, right…”

~*~*~*~

Greg took a deep breath, and then unnecessarily smoothed down his shirt.

“Now or never, Serrano,” he said to himself before he pressed the doorbell.

Impatiently, Greg wrung his hands as various thoughts ran through his head: did she not come home last night, was she safe, was she not answering the door because she knew it was him?

If he were Rebecca, he wouldn’t blame her.

But, still…

Still…she chose him. Last night, she did admit her feelings and Greg didn’t doubt the sincerity of them. That meant he still had a chance.

Right?

Abruptly, his thoughts were interrupted when Rebecca answered the door.

Briefly, shock crossed her face. “Gr-Greg, heeeey! What are you doing here?”

Momentarily, Greg frowned in confusion.

“I, I mean you must have a killer hangover,” she added.

“Oh, uh…that’s not important,” he dismissed.

Rebecca stepped outside and softly closed the door behind her. “No, it is. You had a lot to drink last night and should rest.”

“I can rest after I say what I came here to say,” Greg replied. As Rebecca attempted to protest, Greg held up his hands. “Bup, bup, bup…let me speak, all right?”

“Greg…” Rebecca protested weakly.

“Please,” he asserted. Greg took a deep breath, and then began, “There’s something you should know: **I’m**  an idiot. I mean you probably already figured that out because you graduated from Harvard… **and**  Yale, but I am and I realize that now. I _do_. It’s just…when you’re so used to pushing people away before they can hurt you, it’s a hard habit to break, you know? The thing is: I want to break it for you—I don’t want to push you away,” he admitted. “Because I don’t _just_  think you’re cool; I think that you’re smart and amazing and weird, but in a good way, and I _care_  about you so much that I can’t think straight. That’s what I should’ve said last night. But, again, I’m an idiot and I was afraid and I let your history with Josh get to me and I’m sor…ry.”

Just as Greg apologized, Josh opened the front door. In disbelief, Greg’s face went from confusion to clarity to anger as he processed the scene in front of him: Josh wore nothing but his boxers and Rebecca wore a silk robe. Admittedly, he was one to jump to conclusions, but when it came to Josh and Rebecca, he was often more right than wrong. She really did always go back to him. God forbid he makes a mistake or be imperfect to Josh’s Mr. Perfect (but, _not really_ ).

Various thoughts coursed thoughts his head, but he seemed to keep circling back to one: none of it was real—whatever it was that he thought he had with Rebecca was simply her deluding her delusions.

Could her feelings still be considered delusions anymore? Josh obviously returned them in some capacity and they clearly slept together. Although Greg doubted that Josh understood the extent of Rebecca’s feelings—hell, Greg didn’t even understand them himself—he knew that this wasn’t just some roll in the hay either. Nor did he believe that Josh wanted them same things as her as well.

But—

Apologetically, Rebecca said, “I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m _so_  sorry.”

“I really am an idiot,” Greg said in disgust as he turned away.

 “Greg! Greg,” Rebecca yelled after him.

As if Rebecca weren’t yelling, Greg continued walking. No more. Fuck Rebecca Bunch and the plane she rode in on from New York.

 _Josh_ _too_.

Disrupting his thoughts, a strong hand gripped Greg’s arm and stopped him. Before he could react, Rebecca appeared in front of him.

“Hey, hey!” Rebecca glared at Greg. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

Incredulously, Greg pointed to himself and replied, “And _**I**_  am.”

“No. And even though you apologized for it today, you let me down big time last night,” she explained.

“ _This isn't about anyone else--you’re not second choice_ ,” he echoed Rebecca’s words back to her. “Funny…I was your priority until an opportunity opened up with Josh. So much for not settling.”

“Greg, that’s not fair.”

 He shrugged. “Life isn’t fair, _Bunch_. Maybe if my name was Josh Chan you would’ve waited before jumping in bed with yet _another_  guy.” Rebecca recoiled as if she’d been slapped. “But, it's not...go back to your boyfriend and enjoy your little fantasy while it lasts.”

 

She went.


	2. Smother

“ _I’m wasted, losing time_

_I’m a foolish, fragile spine_

_I want all that is not mine_

_I want him but we’re not right_ ”

-Daughter, “Smother”

\---

 

Maybe he wasn’t destined for happiness.

Maybe he was meant to be alone.

Life insisted upon disappointing Greg and, just like the women who showed signs of disinterest, he should take the hint and stop trying.

Wearing women down with persistence never got him anywhere—not really. It’s just given Greg the illusion of something real and tangible. Thoughts of if only they gave him a chance they’d see how great they’d be together. He could make them laugh and smile and remembered the little things; he was communicative and available and, but ultimately, they weren’t interested.

It was him.

As much as he wanted to believe that women were interested in “bad boys”, the truth was a lot more complicated than that. Although he wasn’t a “nice guy”, he wasn’t a “bad boy” either, but he was a lot closer to it than Josh who was nice, happy, and supportive. Greg was cynical, brutally honest to a fault, didn’t always know when to draw back his sarcasm, a drink or two away from being an alcoholic, wouldn’t know romance if it offered to buy him drinks first before biting him on the ass, insecure…

Why did he even try?

He asked women out and properly planned everything, which ended up going nowhere.

He played at being a bad boy—blew up in his face.

Like, seriously, what’s the point?

Why should he give a fuck about dating or even continue it?

Josh didn’t even try and women flocked to him. He was in a fucking relationship and Rebecca still pursued him. She still wanted him.

She treated Greg like shit for the longest and Greg ignored it because he saw their potential and needed her to see it as well. But, really, he saw what he wanted to see. He saw this insanely smart, beautiful woman who was quirky and a bit odd, but ultimately intriguing and, instantly, he was smitten.

But, maybe his feelings for Rebecca weren’t real.

Maybe he fixated to ignore his issues like she fixated on Josh.

Maybe Rebecca was his fantasy—his beautiful, twisted dark fantasy.

From the beginning, she’s only ever used and hurt him; the greater the pleasure she gave, the greater the pain he received: agreeing to go on their first date and making out all while asking/looking for Josh, and then crying as she tried to touch his dick; going on another date with him, and then sleeping with another guy; fucking him for three days straight and telling him she was serious about him and asking for him to bear his feelings, and then immediately “rebounding” to Josh.

Greg downed his beer, and then started on another one.

And then when he had an amazing woman like Heather, he liked her, but wasn’t truly interested in her. She really was too badass to be someone’s second choice—she was too badass for him.

Fuck love.

Fuck it to hell.

From now on, he’ll stick to Tinder and picking up women in bars. 

*~*~*~*

Weeks later he and a date bumped into Rebecca and Josh at a bar.

Unsurprisingly, the awkwardness is palpable.

“Hey, Greg,” Rebecca amicably probed.

Forcing himself to match Rebecca’s tone, Josh said, “Yeah, hey, man. Long time no see.”

“Oh, are these your friends, Greg,” his date asked.

Momentarily, Greg looked at them. He wondered if Rebecca was happy and if Josh finally matured. If being with Josh was everything she wanted and more or if she’s so good at lying to herself that it felt like it. If he ever meant anything or was just a means to an end. Eventually, Greg snapped out of it. Despite his faults, he’d never do what Josh and Rebecca did to him. So, fuck them.

Fuck them and their fantasies.

Dismissively, he ignored their greetings and looked at them as he remarked, “Just some people that I used to know—come on, let’s get out of here.”

His date threw one last glance at Rebecca and Josh as Greg led her out of the bar.

~*~*~*~

THE NEXT DAY

In pain, Greg groaned as he buried his face in the pillow.

As he nestled his face further in the pillow, he smelled a feminine fragrance. Momentarily, he inhaled the scent. In the back of his mind, a bell softly rang. He sniffed again. The bell rang louder. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Ring. _Ring_. **_Ring_**.

Greg shot up in an upright position, and then doubled over while he grabbed his head in pain.

After his head stopped throbbing, Greg looked around the room.

He was in Rebecca’s room—in her bed.

What the hell happened last night?

Slowly, Rebecca opened the door. “You’re finally up.” She smiled softly at him.

Carefully, she approached him with her hand balled in a fist and a glass of water.

“What happened last night? How did I end up here?”

Rebecca placed three pills in his hand and handed Greg the glass of water. Questioningly, Greg looked at her. “Excedrin and a multivitamin,” she explained. “I was still at the bar when you walked in shit faced. The bartender refused to serve you and I didn’t feel comfortable letting you leave by yourself.”

“Why am I here?” Greg dry swallowed the pills and downed the water. “Why didn’t you take me home?”

"I feel responsible for you,” she carefully admitted.

Greg nodded. “Ah. Well, there’s no need. I can take care of myself.”

Tempted to refute him, Rebecca said instead, “I know that, but you look like you needed a friend last night.”

“And you’re my friend?” Greg scrunched his face in confusion.

Rebecca sighed. “Greg, why do we have to do this—why—why—why can’t we just—“ She haphazardly gestured between the both of them.

Greg abruptly stood up and crowded Rebecca’s personal space. “Pretend that you told me you wanted to be with me, and then slept with _my_ best friend—the guy you swore you were over—when things got rough between us?”

Rebecca moistened her lips as she looked at Greg’s mouth, and then into his eyes.

Was she turned on by his anger? Greg shook the thought as he continued to glare at his ex girlfriend.

“Okay, I know I fucked up, Greg, but this isn’t fair.” Before Greg could interrupt, Rebecca held up her hand to silence him. “I _know_ life isn’t fair, but I’m not the only one who made a mistake. And you weren’t the only one with a broken heart.”

“Yet, I’m the one nursing one.” _Shit, did he say that out loud_? Greg rubbed the back of his head. “We don’t work, not as friend and not as…”

Rebecca stared at his mouth again as she bit her lip.

“Can—can you stop doing that, you’re distracting me,” he chastised.

Startled, Rebecca stepped back and furrowed her brows. What **_was_** she doing?

“I gotta get outta here.” Greg took in his appearance and saw that he wore only his undershirt, underwear, and socks. Expertly, he slid his pants on, button up, shoes, and then put on his jacket. Quickly, he patted his pockets to check for his wallet, and then started for the door once he found it.

Rebecca, processing real time events seconds after they happened, chased after Greg as he practically ran down the stairs. Just as Greg reached the front door, Rebecca put her hand against it and held the door shut.

“Rebecca…” Greg warned.

“Please stay for breakfast,” she pleaded. “We don’t have to talk, but it’ll be good for you.” Rebecca looked at Greg’s forehead as she gave a tightlipped smile.

Exaggeratedly, Greg sighed. He knew if he fought her on this, he’d lose. Rebecca would never give us. Never. She’d tired him, and then force him to submit. “Fine.”

Silently, he ate breakfast.

Rebecca made him drink another glass of water, but with Alka-Seltzer this time. He slowly ate his small bowl of cereal as he occasionally took a bite of his eggs and toast.

Rebecca can tell something is on Greg’s mind, but instead he says, “Des Josh know I’m here? He’s okay with this?”

Softly, Rebecca sighs. “Yes, he was there when you returned the bar last night and, no, he’s not okay with this. But, like I said, I feel responsible for you. I _care_ about you.”

“Why do you care about me—why do you care so much about what happens with me?” Greg took a sip of his Gatorade as he kept his eyes on his food. “You got your prince charming? Why waste your time on some commoner?”

Rebecca frowned. “Why is it so impossible to believe I care about you?”

“Are you really asking me that?” Greg bitterly laughed as he looked at Rebecca for the first time since they sat down.

“I can’t undo the past,” Rebecca stated. “If I could, I’d redo a lot of fucked up shit I did to you—and others, but especially you.” Tightly, Rebecca closed her eyes. “I’m a mess, but you make me want to give this adulating thing a go even though it scares the shit out of me. Even though you were an asshole about it sometimes, you were honest to me because you wanted to help me. And, and…it just makes me sick that we don’t have that anymore—that—that we aren’t friends anymore. That I’m the reason why we’re here. Is there any way we can fix this?”

Greg stared at his eggs. 

~*~*~*~

FOURTY THREE MINUTES LATER

As Rebecca nestled her face further into the pillow, she smelled a masculine scent. Faint, but there. Teardrops stained her pillow as she sniffled into the soaked fabric.

Greg was wrong, he wasn’t the only one nursing a broken heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooo.....this fic is an experiment in the sense that I cannot nail the characters voices/actions no matter how much I try. And, if I happen to get something right or close to it, yay for me. But, I have a lot of feelings and need an outlet.


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